Wonderfully Made – Build Successful Marriages

To me, work life balance essentially means time with my wife.

In a society like Spore, it’s hard to practice work life balance. We have a culture where it’s the norm to work late past your working hours. In many companies, when you leave on time, you will be frowned upon, though there’s actually nothing wrong with leaving on time and everything right about it.

People often measure and equate working long hours to being more dedicated to your job. Often, employers value such workers and reward them with faster promotions, pay rise etc. In such a capitalist driven society where money is viewed as the source of every good thing, it is no wonder employees would sacrifice their time for family, leisure, rest, social etc, so as to work harder to be promoted faster.

Though certain jobs may really require such dedication, I for one, wish that not one single married person in Spore will ever need to sacrifice their most precious family time for work. I understand the occasional need when events are nearing and projects are due, but it should never be the norm, even if you hold an important job. Rest and time for family, should always be catered for, for whatever the importance of the job, nothing should come in the way of your union with your closest loved ones. I admire US president Obama in this aspect cause even in the busiest of jobs, his wife and family seem closely involved and connected. That’s something all busy high level Singaporeans can learn from.

I faced much challenges these last 3 weeks as I was on reservist and had to attend a commander’s course. This course is highly disciplined and required much of our time and commitment. I practically woke up at 5+ am everyday and reached home close to 8pm every night. I burnt 2 extra nights as well staying in camp one of the 2 nights and reaching home after midnight the next. It was tiring. Some times, after reaching home, I was so tired that I had to retire at 9+pm. Clearly, my time with my wife was affected.

But I was glad that I fought hard and was granted off on 2 days which I can spend with my wife. It was a hurdle to cross with the concern that the commanders of the course would not understand or even care about the importance of my family time, but I asked anyway, tactfully at a ripe time and with clarity on why I think I needed the off. It surprised me when they first agreed to allow me to go for a ‘marriage course’ with my wife last Friday. Then, I fought for off again yesterday and they granted it to me today, which is supposedly the last day of the course. I had a wonderful rest and time with wife today, celebrating our 2nd month wedding anniversary.

Sometimes, our culture does not permit us to live by our priorities easily. But for me, I have learned a good lesson through this that I will have to fight for what I want. If I value time with my wife, I may have to ‘ACT in faith’ so as to get it. Trying never fails, but if we don’t try, we have already failed.

Will you fight hard so as to keep the things closest to you strong always?