WONDERFULLY MADE – Relationship Coaching, Sexuality Education & Counseling for Successful Relationships!

On 31 Jan 2009, The Straits Times published an article that reported on a worrying uptrend of underage sex and rape cases in Singapore.

It cited rape cases in 2008 shot up to 109 from 72 in 2007.

There is also a sharp rise in girls below the age of 16 having sex, with 310 cases in 2008 compared to 216 the year before.

That’s a 51% rise in rape cases and a 44% increase in underage sex in just the span of 1year!

The statistics in the following year raised the alarm further when it was reported that statutory rape cases increased a whopping 76% in the 1^st half of 2009! (When compared to the same period in 2008)

It’s no wonder the police has cited the trend as ‘worrying’ in the same article.

As I surveyed the situation, I realized the problem is not that there is no sexuality education. The main problem is that there are gaps in sexuality education, not just ours, but everywhere else. It’s like sexuality education is always trying to play catch-up to the fast rising global trends which have enveloped most of the world with family breakdowns, epidemic-like STI statistics and rising youth concerns as a result of home disintegration. We seem to be always 2 steps behind in this work.

After years of passionate research in this subject matter, I would like to propose following points on why our sexuality education has not achieved the much needed impact:

1. the extremely alluring nature of the subject matter, sex
2. the increasing availability of unhealthy sources of the subject matter due to the propagation of the media and internet
3. the extremely vulnerable age where our impressionable youths are getting exposed to subject matter
4. the lack of sexuality knowledge of  teachers, parents, educators and law-makers themselves
5. the presentation of sexuality education in a ‘non values-invoking’ way
6. some education is done by educators who might not believe in pro-family values themselves
7. An over-simplification and an over-reliance on the message of ‘condoms’ and not ‘values’ as the main impacting message
8. An inability of educators to convince ‘self taught’ youths otherwise due to a lack of depth in subject matter
9. An over-emphasis on the advantages of condoms but a real ignorance among educators and parents on the limitations of it
10. A lack of parents’ involvement in tackling this issue in individual homes and on a national influencing front
11. Most people has ‘given up’ and thought that it’s impossible to fight these global trends

The consequences are more than dire. Have we considered how is it possible that just slightly over 4 decades ago, America was still a relatively conservative country that stresses foundationally on strong marriages and families? Now voted as one of the worst places in the world to bring up kids, how many decades would Singapore need before the tipping point hits us?

We need a revolutionary approach to buck the trend. We need a collaborative approach from all parties. We need believers and visionaries who will fight the impossibility of the task. We need effective, convincing sexuality education for both our youths and parents. Who holds the answer to this? Everyone! For everyone plays a part in influencing the societal system, culture and hence, values. If we can unite nationally, we can impact globally.

What is your say in this?

Leo Hee Khian
Director
Wonderfully Made